The last year has been life changing for me. It started with some personal dramas; it was my daughter's first year on this world and there was a lot to learn and unlearn. It's gone so fast I can imagine how she'll be 18 and moving out in a moment. Being a Mum is a constant challenge; it is that kind of experience that makes you a challenge addict. It's empowering and exhausting at the same time. It's a constant fight that sometimes seems just a game, but at some other moments becomes way too real. For me it's been the rollercoaster of my life.
I always wanted to achieve. Some people don't feel the constant pressure at the back of their head, but I definitely did: I felt capable and open to everything that future could bring. And somehow, life wanted to bring me down to Earth, trying different tricks and missing out on treats and finally it managed to fulfill the plan: there I was, miserabale and hopeless, with a newborn in my arms, sometimes scared to death that I'd have to sacrifice my future and lose the person I wanted to be for the role of the mother I didn't know how to play. That I'd play it wrong and have to choose between either having time for my child but struggling with finances or managing financially but allowing other people to bring her up. But there was also something magical about all the time spent at home alone with my fears and that little creature: I became so sensitive and so observant that I just had to express it in some way. Each time she had a nap, I grabbed a pen or a pencil and just sketched. I started discovering more and more, seeing her resemblence to me and husband, following the lines of her full, soft lips, her plump fists, the tiny button of her nose. It became my meditation. And then, encouraged by some other creative mums I saw online, I started sharing my drawings on Instagram. It drew attention and soon led to my first commission. I decided to give it a go and that decision certainly changed my life.
In these 9 months that passed ever since, I've made over 400 portraits. I grew as a Mum, as a person and as an artist. I finally found a job that fulfills me, helps me improve in all areas of life and brings me a lot of joy and satisfaction. It gives me the sense of meaning in life, and a plenty of pleasure. After some years of crisis related to full time employment and lack of time for personal development, I finally started my way in the right direction and when I think there's no going back, it only makes me smile.